June 8, 2019

Finding My Stride

I've been "retired" for over a month now and I feel like I'm finally finding my stride in this new life.  If I were to be totally honest, it has been just a little difficult.  Before you call me CRAZY let me explain......

When I was working I didn't feel bad about not having a place for everything and everything in its place.  After all, I worked hard - Monday through Friday.  I was up early and away from home nine to ten hours a day.  When I was home I took care of what HAD to be done but it didn't leave much time or energy for other FUN things.  Now that I am here all the time there should never be a time when we run out of clean underwear.  :)  During times of our Summer or Christmas shutdowns (usually ten days or so) I felt like I was just getting the MUST DOs done and could have time to play a little and then it would be time to go back to work.  For a long time I have felt like my value was based on the amount of work I did or the money that I brought home.  Being "retired" puts a different light on things for sure and I've had to remind myself that my value comes from the fact that Jesus died for me.  I am valuable in His eyes by living a life that is worthy of His sacrifice for me.

Now I find myself with that precious commodity - TIME.  At first I struggled with a routine, which is something I must have.  When I was working I was in Marion every day so I could take care of Mom's needs, grocery shop, get horse feed, etc. without much thought going into it. I was already there.  We don't live that far out but I try to make my trips to town count.  That was a struggle for me at first.

I've always been pretty selfish with my time at home.  I didn't feel like I ever had enough and when I got a chance to choose - GO or STAY - it was usually to STAY (unless the GO was to the race track :) ).  I've been able to lighten up in this regard much to John's liking I'm sure.  He likes to go different places and believe it or not, I think he likes it when I go with him.

I spent a great deal of time during the first few weeks trying to muddle my way through the Medicare Supplement maze.  I'm so afraid of making the wrong decision.  Both of our medicines are very expensive and the wrong move could wipe out all that we've saved!  I'd probably take my chances and not take the medicine if it came down to it.  Fortunately during my travels in the maze I came across a very helpful gentleman and believe that I am making an informed decision now.  

While a part of me doesn't feel like I should be retired for several reasons -

  1.  I really don't know anything different than to work.
  2.  I don't feel old enough (blessing in itself).
  3.  I really liked the steady income.
every day seems like a vacation day now!  I've been home long enough that I have gotten a lot of the MUST DOs done and now I'm starting to work some PLAY into the routine.




A wise person (my daughter, Ashley) told me that even a good change takes a period of adjustment. This is quite true.  So... I'm out of the gates and settling into my run down the backstretch.  Hopefully it will be awhile before my final stretch run, but as I've said before - none of us know.  All I can pray and hope for is that it is a race well run.

Remember friends, every day is a gift.  Savor each one that you are blessed with.

Love to you all!

Sue


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